Bye Bye Baseball

My recent laproscopic luau went quite well and rendered five surrenders: an ovary, a fallopian tube, a complex cyst, and two apparent splenules. All in extensive testing as we speak; no doubt. My final answers will hopefully come tomorrow, but preliminarily, we're looking at ovarian cyst and splenules.

Splenule is a new word for me. It's been documented that a spleen can have accessories or even regenerate when broken pieces implant, somewhat like a liver. Who knew? When I ruptured my spleen as a teen, many small pieces apparently settled around my abdomen, implanting themselves and growing. Despite removing the main spleen that was damaged, some little pieces remained and thrived.

My initial reading reveals that the splenules actually can do some work of a spleen. So, have I just had a double splenectomy? I don't know. But, one of the splenules was the size of a baseball and I'm relieved to have it gone.

Laproscope Luau

Figuring out ones medical problems is like constructing a complex military strategy. When I finally had health insurance, time, and was too sick to deny the need; my investigation began. It's been a year now. There were some false starts over the years, before this final push. Those terminated quite quickly. Now, the perfect storm came together and unleashed this inquiry. It's a good thing.

In the course of a year, I've discovered Psoriatic Arthritis, Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, vitamin deficiencies, a Rathkye's cyst, hip effusion, bursitis, two mesenteric lesions, a lesion on my femur, an ovarian cyst, ascitic fluid in my abdomen, colon polyps, Hiatal Hernia, Gastritis and Acid Reflux. No wonder I have been so sick. My body is a downright mess. I'd say it couldn't be any worse; but let me suspend that. I know it can be more scary because I've seen it.

While watching this incredibly silly and disingenuous health care debate taking place in America, I realize that I'm a walking poster for why health care should be available to everyone. Without it, you are slowly destroyed. Those small and unattended complaints escalate into complete defeat and disability. When anyone talks about the cost of health care; it's hard to imagine how they can overlook the cost of so many people being on disability. There must be an algorithm to compare those two manifestations of cost and dependence. If anyone cared to look.

I digress into the very emotional area of my fellow citizens lobbying to ensure my suffering, further disability and death, should my current health insurance suspend. I'm a liability, not worthy of support. It's tough. But, I really wanted to blog today about my latest medical procedure. After all, that's what this blog is about.

All those pesky fluids and growths in my abdomen will get a look now. Two lovely young surgeons will scrub in for what I've affectionately named a laproscope luau. All of us there, me sleeping; investigating my abdomen. Pushing my small bowel around, searching for blood flow between the lesions and my cecum or some other important structure. The gynecological oncologist will get a peek. She is nice and will no doubt say please. She will look at my complex cyst. Then, my ovaries. Trying to determine if there is a link between what's growing and those used up parts from my past.

There is no doubt that something will be coming out of me that day. A sample at first. Then, any parts infringing on the space of others or not looking pleasant will likely get a slice too. Maybe a bowel resection, fluid biopsy or perhaps an hysterectomy. I can't predict what will happen at the luau. What I know now is that my role is the pig, buried under the leaves, waiting to be carved.

It's a process I am actually embracing. It's due time for relief and further answers. Lymphoma, lipoma, ovarian cancer? It is definitely time to know. There is insanity in not knowing, especially with a mind such as mine. It never rests. So, off I go back to the land of surgery for the third time this year. Seven, if you count sedation procedures like my biopsies, colonoscopy and endoscopy. A record, even for me.