Sick Behavior

Who would think they'd be unable to care for themselves at 41? It's like a nightmare that doesn't end. It seems to be my new reality. This really hit me like a ton of bricks today while I sat and talked to my Mother, as my Dad trimmed the grass at my place.

At my Dad's age, I'm fairly sure he thought this might be the other way around. But, it's not. I need help with lots of things and my pensioner-parents do take up some of that slack, like the times my Mother has had to help me out of a chair. That's really interesting. Yard work and heavy lifting are in the "forget-about-it" zone for me. That's a favor or a hire out. Once my neighbor mowed for me, which was a charm. I'm sure she must feel sorry for me when she sees me walking hunched over with the cane, and taking about five minutes to get out of the car.

What a sight I must be. Overweight, disabled, barely able to walk. When you're sick there's something else too: sick behavior. Google it for yourself. When you're sick, you stop caring how you look. A good hair cut is only fun when they style it in the shop. It takes too much energy to do it yourself. Nice clothes--same. You gain so much weight when you're sick and not moving around much that the things you buy don't fit for long. Even when they do fit, they don't seem to be flattering. Nothing is. Makeup--forget it; too much effort.

Thinking about eating healthy is good. I try that; but it succumbs to sick behavior too. Every day I have my fruit and vegetable juice. No meat. Not much sweets. But, the joy of pretzels or potato chips or some other calorie laden food is hard to deny when it's all you have to look forward to that day. After all, there's no work and nothing that requires much physical or mental commitment--it's too hard to predict when you can participate.

Some days I do try harder. But on the bad days, I really don't care. It's part of the profile. Look it up, really. Sick behavior. It will help you understand the sick, the struggling, the disabled. Your priorities change. When you're helpless, the usual stuff doesn't matter. This day began with pain, exhaustion, a distint limp, a severe headache and a sore throat. Life is a struggle.

Bibliography
http://www.answers.com/topic/sickness-behavior
http://psychology.wikia.com/wiki/Sickness_behavior
https://www.harvardpilgrim.org/portal/page?_pageid=213,260661&_dad=portal&_schema=PORTAL
http://www.sicksyndrome.com/